Self-acceptance is about loving yourself for all that you are, taking the bad with the good. Self-Acceptance does not come easy for many of us, and it is a journey that we will always be on. We are constantly changing as people due to life experiences, and therefore we are continually learning to accept all the parts of us that change and the ones that stay the same.
Self-acceptance is a close sibling of our inner critics, and once we understand our inner critics, we can nurture our inner mentor, who then helps us love ourselves and accept ourselves for who we are.
This road is filled with lots of bumps along the way, but what is life without the bumps, we need to look where we are going, and if we fall, it's ok we get up and keep walking.
Be kind to yourself
Being kind to ourselves is not just about accepting who we are but genuinely loving ourselves for who we are. Understanding that we have flaws, understanding what those flaws are and making changes for the right reasons. Making changes for you and because you want to, not because you are ashamed of yourself or feel guilty. Changes made out of shame and guilt never last, and it just takes you down a path of disappointment.
I have always had issues with my weight; every time I looked in the mirror, I saw someone fat and ugly; it did not matter what size I was. This mindset began when I was only 12, it was a constant battle, and as I grew older, it only became worse; there was never a time when I felt secure in my skin. If there were an event coming up, I would go on a crash diet, hoping to lose that last 5kgs, so I fit in with the rest of the pretty women around me, but it didn't matter as in my eyes, I could never be as lovely or skinny as those around me. I was ashamed of who I was and felt I would never be good enough, so it didn't matter how much weight I lost; every time I looked in the mirror, I was always someone "fat and ugly".
However, in 2019, I decided to lose weight for the long term, not for one specific event. I finally decided to make changes, not as a quick fix or because I wanted to look prettier and skinnier, no I was making changes because I wanted to be healthy. I accepted my reality of living with chronic pain, and I wanted to live the best life I could; I decided it was time to stop punishing myself. Being kind to myself helped me accept my reality and make changes based on growth rather than shame.
What is your mindset?
Where are you in your life right now? Are you making decisions in your life because you want to grow? Or are you making decisions based on guilt and shame? It's not easy to come out of the fixed mindset if this has been your way of thinking for so long, but you will never come out of being a "victim" if you are constantly making changes because you are ashamed of who you are. We all have flaws. It's inevitable; it's what we do with those flaws that make the difference. It's about the long-lasting changes that you deserve as a person to make. You deserve to live the life you are meant to. It's never going to be a smooth road, but decisions made out of shame will only result in a lot of pain down the track.
"Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down" Roy T. Bennett.